Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

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Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
I came across this report a while ago and this trend seems to replicating within our church, is this a good thing or not?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1250207/Marriage-rates-drop-lowest-level-1862.html

Have a quick read and lets get this discussion started.
Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

The King
Marriage seems to be going out of fashion, but the Bible is clear Heb.  13:4 Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.  it is still a good thing to get married, we should just be a bit more open to God's ideal and marry within the fold, it won't hurt but it will certainly make a big difference if there is a common faith, I know you can still have problems, but at least you have limited to possiblities of tension within the marriage.
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
Not much response on this one as yet so let me spice it up by asking a question relating to it, if most of society (and young people in church) aren't getting married until late 20's early 30's, is it unreasonable to expect them to remain virgins until their wedding night? Current research puts the most fertile age range for women as 20-24 (see link below) so there is a greater risk of having kids when older, what do you think?

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/activelytrying/ageandfertility/

Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

The King
It is not only the ideal to be a virgin when you marry, but more rewarding in the longterm, with a successful marriage, the bond of love is greater if both parties were virgins and less likely to split up. however to give hope to the fallen, God can heal all wounds, even a broken heart, you can find love again, and live a happy enriching married life. The ideal given by God is Sexual Intercourse should be within a marriage, not living together or casual sex with several partners, what the world offers is a poor substitute for love and happiness. God knows what is best for us, and we should trust him.
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
 OK given everything you said ( I agree with by the way) doesn't this suggest a strong case of marrying early instead of late?
Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

The King
the older generation did and it worked for most of them.
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

lovelyladybird2000
It is important that the need to be married is not driven by ones hormone levels or sex drive since only in the confines of marriage is sex acceptable by God. One should exercise self control and patience with much prayer before making such a life changing decision.  
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
ok, I hear what you saying so maybe the question is - why do we get married? what are the reasons? In Bible times, a primary reason seems to be for procreation rather than love, to carry on the family name as such. Another one seems to be for security especially on the woman's side. Are these reasons not valid anymore?
Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

lovelyladybird2000
Are you saying I am not secure because I am not married?

my security is in Christ
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
No not at all, ladybird, I'm trying to establish whether the reasons they got married in Bible times is still valid in 2011 or has it changed and marriage now are based on something else. Bearing in mind my post on ideal child bearing age range, is the average age of marriage now out of sync with life?
Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Vincy
It is very Ironic and interesting Noey.  It would seem if we look at statistics that a lot of arranged marriages as in the Bible and even within recenet times i.e our parents and grandparent lasted for a very long time or till death do us part.  Whereas we, within this generation who say we are marrying for love, have no clue, as the separation and divorse rates are getting hiher everyday.  Love and marriage transends id not puffed up etc.

So is that we do not really know what love in marriage is?  Should we marry if we are not sure?

I think the church maybe need to start to have sessions on marraiage and singleness and love and not wait until persons come to them to be married to give 3 lessons of marriage councelling.....
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

lovelyladybird2000
Do adventists believe that if we cannot marry someone for love we should marry them for procreation reasons or security reasons?

If this is the case are those who hold out for true love just dreamers?
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

The King
you can marry for love like Jacod and Rachel, or Isaac and Rebekah, who could be considered as love at first sight.
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
In reply to this post by lovelyladybird2000
I suppose there are many reasons for marriage these days and dreaming about finding ones true love is a valid reason but should this be the primary reason? or just one of many? I think marriages in the 21st century shows the difference between expectations in a marriage and reality and more people seems to be calling it a day when their expectations are not met.  This tells me that maybe, our current idea of marriage is not what God had in His original plan and its certainly different than marriages in Bible times. Societies that have the lowest divorce rates generally are closer aligned to Biblical principles including marrying within one's own culture, arranged marriages, husband the head of homes etc. etc. etc. What do you think?
Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

lovelyladybird2000
So should we adopt this mindset then -

They are of the same cultural background and religion which is in line with traditions in bible times so if we get married it is bound to work!
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Vincy
It is an interesting view Noey.   There may be something in it.  Food For thought.    It would be interesting to find out why the marriages in the olden days work.  I think marriages while they should be based on the love (feeling) it should be deeper than that... It should be the love as described in Corinthians- The new testatment.
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

lovelyladybird2000
Do you think having differing cultural backgrounds is more likely to cause conflict in the marriage?

Surely if both partys have love for God and each other and are compatable with each other, this is enough?
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
I think when the Bible talks about being unequally yoked its talking about believers and unbelievers, but when you have two believers its a good thing. But it seems these days, even that isn't enough, culture, class, education, wealth seems to be all in the mix causing a major strain on marriages.
Ladybird said "Surely if both partys have love for God and each other and are compatable with each other, this is enough?" thats the theory, it should work but there are so many outside pressures in play now that both people need to constantly work at maintaining the relationship. Its not enough to just tick along, its almost like a daily battle where its two people (three with God) against the world. If either party is passive then the likelihood it would fail. This to me seems to be different than Bible times, where marriages seem to have a different basis.
Noey
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

lovelyladybird2000
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.Psalm 37:4

Is this scripture still applicable in this day and age?
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Re: Is marriage still important for Adventist christians?

Noey
Yeps, I believe it is but once He has given you, you need to work at keeping it.
Noey
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